Yeah, maybe I should resolve to update here more frequently?

I was a cocky little thang last New Year’s, wasn’t I?  Remember that list of expectations I had for 2010?  Things I expected the year to do for me?

Wow.  Let’s review, shall we?  Here’s the list and how things went:

In 2010, my dearest 2010, I expect:

1. A moratorium on deaths of loved ones. We’ve had them annually since 2006 and I, for one, have had it. These last two have been horrendous and really, we’re just done for awhile. – One for one, not bad.  While the world lost some important people, we didn’t in our immediate circle.
2. A clear, perfectly outlined road to a job, career, or any decent money-making opportunity. Career would be best, but really? Mama just need to start doing more than cooking the bacon. Mama needs to start bringing some home, too. – Oooh, two for two. I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I’m working, training and feeling a pull in a few specified directions.  And I’ve brought home a few slices of bacon in the process.
   
3. If #2 can’t be worked out, a miraculous windfall would be nice. We know we have a rich relative or two. Sharing is caring, not socialism.  – Eh, no windfall.  Money still sucks and rich relative is still sitting on his cash.
4. Yes, I even expect cliche things – good health for my family. – Three out of four ain’t bad.
5. People to learn the proper use of the word “vagina”. Vagina is internal genitalia, folks. That stuff visible from the outside? It has other names. When I read something about, “…shaving my vagina,” I knew that had to be a priority for 2010. Seriously. Sharp razors and vaginas don’t mix. And? Why are we publicly discussing genital grooming habits? I don’t need to know this information about you, your bestie, or anyone else. – Seriously, people. Learn anatomy, huh?
6. Forward progression for the LGBT Community and those who love them. Really. It’s 2010. Marriage and its stability should never be dependent upon the rights of another human being. Let’s step it up. – Gay marriage didn’t get very far, but at least DADT was repealed and the most awesome campaign ever was created – FCKH8.com.
7. A nice vacation. Not only a nice vacation, but a nice vacation without something somehow screwing it right the hell up. – Eh, uh…nope.  Never even left the state.
8. No more phone calls that start with, “Everyone’s okay, but…” or “She’s gone,” or “Well….[insert name here] was robbed,” or “There’s been an accident,” or anything of the sort. – Few car mishaps, but nothing life or limb threatening. Yay!
9. Continued and deeper bonding with the relationships that have reignited in 2009. It’s one of the few things to be grateful for from that gawd-awful year and I expect that goodness to only improve. You can do it. – Even added a couple to it.
10. My dog, Chef, to find a brain somewhere, install it, hot wire it and actually…use it. The first goal? Weight loss. The second? Common freaking dog sense. – Like I really thought THAT was going to happen!
11. Chocolate, ice cream and mac & cheese to become foods that are not only acceptable to a weight loss plan, but also encouraged. – Pth.
12. Simply put, peace & love for my kids. – Yes. They had to work for it, but that’s a good lesson, too.
13. Motivation to find its way here…right here. *points* Under my ass so I can get up, move, exercise, become a normal functioning human being again. Like I was in the 1990?s. Remember those days? Yeah, me too. – Exercise? No. A more functional human being? Yes. Half credit.
14. The religious and political right (so often the same group, isn’t it?) to buy a clue about tolerance, fairness, social justice and common fucking sense. – About as likely as my dog finding a brain.
15. My son to remember that he has a really highly functioning brain and to use it to its fullest potential at school. Or, hell…I’ll even take it if he puts half the effort into school as he does music, gaming and uh…gaming. – Ah, it gives me something to dream for in 2011…
16. My daughter’s roommate situation to improve. Massively improve. – YAY!!  So much improvement!!
17. For Glee, Chuck, and Friday Night Lights to take over the television world and destroy lame reality shows. This is good TV, 2010…let’s see if we can’t at least use them as a model. – Well, they’re not off the air anyway.  Glee pretty much rules everything…
18. For these words and phrases to take a flying leap and please, oh pretty please, leave our lexicon.
    • Take it to a whole new level – or worse? A whole ‘nuther level. – *sigh*
    • Know what I mean, particularly when said at the end of every sentence uttered.
    • Shawty – I’m either deaf to it, or it’s disappearing
    • Surreal
    • Off the chain, hook, doorknob…
    • That’s gay – Still heard entirely too much
    • Baby daddy
    • Random, for example, “That’s so random!” or “I’m so random!” – You know, I don’t hear that one much anymore!
    • Closure – there is no such thing when grieving – so stop it. Put closure to the use of that word or expectation.
    • That’s what she said
    • Your mom – Has now been replaced with “your face” in my house.
    • Anything Rachel Ray or Guy Fieri utters on a constant basis – sammies, yum-o, downtown, money, bad boy, stoup. In fact, let’s just make them mute in 2010, huh? That’d be splendid. – I can continue to dream…
19. For my husband to accept his grief and then…in time, for the grayness of it to lift. I want my hubby back, even if it’s in increments, in 2010. – Slowly, but surely…
20. For the fools that got me through the first bit of the aughts with some fun, new friends and a lot of insanity, Backstreet, to either find their brains or their balls and decide – get the fuck out of music or learn how to A&R and make a record people actually want to buy again. – Okay, seems they did A&R right b/c the NKOTBSB thing is going strong. It makes me want to vomit and I won’t support it b/c I think NKOTB is just…sad, but you know, it’s working for them.  Just…without me.

So, there it is.  But, I’ve learned quite a bit last year and expecting the year to provide me with things is just ridiculous.  Granted, it was 90% tongue in cheek, but it’s time to take responsibility for my own happiness, my own fulfillment, my own peace.

While I still don’t make resolutions, that’s what I want out of ME for 2011.  I’m not the center of the universe, but I’m responsible for my universe’s stability and happiness.  Those around me can hop on or find another ride.  And I’m really not interested in waiting around for a decision either.  I sat around for over 10 years.

This lady’s on the move.