A New Venture

I walked away from my last job in January of 2000. In doing so, I walked away from quite a bit of my life, fell down on my buttinski and sat there bruised, battered, beaten…

…for, um…almost 10 years.

Yeah, I know. That’s not what this post is about. Exactly.

In that 10 years, even with a college degree (with honors, I might add) I haven’t even tried working elsewhere. I’ve felt unworthy for hiring. Unacceptable. Bruised, battered, beaten. Oh, I filled out an application or two, but they never went anywhere, which of course, only fattened the argument of my unworth.

Thing is, we’re broke. We’re redefining the word “broke” with a new, exciting variety of broke. Mama needs a job.

But, there’s that “no one would ever hire me” thing going on that I cannot beat. I’m paralyzed by it.

So, I’ve decided to take a baby step. Today, I went to my first interview in over twelve years. Now, no one will pay me to do the job I’ve agreed to do – it’s purely volunteer. But, it’s for a great organization, The American Red Cross. The idea came to me simply enough as I sat and enjoyed my Lorna Doones after giving blood a few weeks back. Volunteer apps covered the table, I thought, “Eh, why not…” and next thing I know, I’m sitting in their Columbus offices being introduced to people and getting a background check done.

So, big guns? No. But, it will get me up and moving and responsible again. Functioning outside of my own home and maybe, just maybe, finding that spark inside of me that reminds me that I’m worthy not only to be looking for work, but worthy of being hired. That I can make nervous people smile, and keep things organized (just promise you will NOT look at my computer desk). That I learn quickly and maybe can even make the simple task you’ve asked of me something that’s done so well, the next time you’ll ask me to do something more difficult. And I can even wow you with the difficult stuff, too.

For many, this probably seems like a pretty itty bitty baby step, and that’s okay. You can think that. I won’t mind. And, it’s not going to help our condition of broke-ed-ness either. Not yet anyway.

But maybe it will help my condition of being bruised and battered and beaten. And that’s worth more than any credit card debt anyway.

Besides, people. I get free Lorna Doones!!!!