I hope I have enough to say to make that stupid title worthwhile.
I guess I have a question to ask rather than a essay to post.
Moms? Do you sponge moods off of your children? If your daughter is happy, you’re happy? If she’s had her feelings hurt, your feelings are hurt as well? If she’s in love, do the mushy, crushy, giggly, squishy feelings overwhelm you, too?
Or what about moms with sons? I have one of each and I truly don’t do this with my boy like I do my daughter. I mean, if Ethan ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy, but that just goes with cohabitation. Especially cohabitation with a teen. Male teen. Sensitive male teen. Aigh, my life.
Or…or…for those who aren’t parents? As someone’s kid – do your parents do this? Your mom? Dad? Do you do this with sibs? If so, do you resent it? Embrace it? Or, are you too busy messing with your own emotional crap-shoot of a life that you don’t notice that someone is riding the wave right along side you? Or even care?
I thought once Abby moved out it would change, or at least lesson, but I’m finding it hasn’t. Sometimes I love it. Others…eh, I have enough on my plate and I already paid my dues of college, young love, friendships and job angst. I really would rather not rehash it, thanks all the same. But, there it is. She struggles, I struggle. She hurts, I hurt. She is elated in love, I’m flying right along side of her…taking my place in the other room at appropriate times. I’m not intending to deny her privacy.
I’m just confused. Because I do embrace this connection I have with her. But, I’d hate for her to resent it. Or feel stifled by it. Or think that I’m doing it to be in control of her life or even living my life vicariously through her, because nothing could be further from the truth. Her life is her own and I’m just grateful for the position of spotter for the first years of her journey.
Maybe what I’m asking is…now that she’s gone from home…am I still doing this right?
I’m sure you’re doing it right as there’s no wrong!
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My mom sponges moods off me like crazy, which is why I have to be careful what I say and do around her. I’m old enough to appreciate what I can only describe as a mom that “loves the crap out of me,” but it can definitely get complicated. Sometimes I’d love the chance to be totally honest without worrying how it is going to affect her. I’d like to be able to sniffle and cough without her panicking and wanting to rush me chicken noodle soup. I want the opportunity to fall flat on my face without her thinking it is a worldwide crisis. She’s built so much of her life around bro and me, but more specifically me, that I have often worried about what would happen once both of us left the house. She’s coping well with my move out west, but I was horrified to think about the emotional trauma that would happen once the umbilical cord was severed thousands of miles away. My bro is getting a place of his own any day now, so we’ll see what happens then. And then there’s my visit back home… It could get interesting. I love her, but I hope I operate at a bit lower level of spongy with my own children. It’s tough to be loved – LOL!
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