The eighth in the Letters to Lisa series.
Lisa-
God, I want to talk to you in person so damned desperately. So.damned.desperately. So much is going on and I want to sit over a plate of spinach & artichoke dip and tell you. I want to see your eyeballs pop out of your head as I regale you with the ridiculous tale of our refrigerator nightmare. I want to hear you laugh at the silly stories I can share from my weekend with Apple, Robin and Sandra. To feel your empathy when I tell you about our financial crisis. Know your compassion at the ache in my heart when Ethan took off for his first day of high school. HIGH SCHOOL, Lisa!! I remember you coming into my hospital room at night, during your break, to get me out of bed and walk with me. You were so much more compassionate than the on-floor nurses, teaching me how to breathe through the surgical pain from my cesarean. And now, that little booger is in high school!
I want to tell you about Nathan taking Abby to the meteor showers at Hargus Lake on Monday. He had a little picnic with fruit and cheese…wine was Mountain Dew, of course. They spread out on a hill and watched the display falling over the lake. See!? SEE!? I can hear you oohing and aahing all over that little bit of sweetness. God, they are so in love, Lisa. I wish you could have seen it. You got to see him pining for her, but now that they have each other? *sigh* You would glow with joy for them.
It’s the little experiences. The big experiences. Funny things, sad and sweet. They all seem to lose some of their depth with I can’t share them with you. My joys aren’t as joyful, but boy are my sorrows full of sorrow. I’ve not seen you in my dreams in a long while and it’s making the waking hours a little more difficult. Of course, waking after a dream about you makes the waking hours difficult, too.
Everything’s difficult. How could I have known how empty my life would be without you in it?
~Heidi
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